There's no way around it, children today suck.
As hard as it is to believe, it's not even entirely the childrens fault either. Playgrounds are no longer awesome adventurous places where a child can get maimed (and don't kid yourself, getting maimed is an important part of every well rounded childhood) because they have pussified them so no one can get hurt, parents are afraid to go upside their kids head when they are being insolent. So what can be done?
Well luckily there are toys out there now that will deliver the kick to the teeth your kids sorely need to grow up and become upstanding kickers of ass like god intended.
AGENTS OF SORP ACTION FIGURES!
Alexi 2 playmobile, made of 45% lead, 65% asbestos.
The Zachary Byron Helm action figure, complete with Emo killing gun.
The Agent Arcangel figure, minigun and respirator included!
Kitten stomping action!
Emo detention playset sold seperately.