Ok, here is the deal guys, every month or so I get an e-mail asking me how to build a flamethrower. They are usually written something like this...

"Maan! that flametrower it teh shit! you tell mee how to make one for me so i can go use it and shit yo!"

Ok, first of all, if you cannot handle simple punctuation and spelling, the chances that you can handle high pressure liquid flammables is questionable. I am not going to tell someone who cannot spell how to do this because they would probably use it to torch cats or something. Officially I only sanction the torching of homeless people who hold up signs declaring that they are "Diabetic veteran, homeless, anything helps, god bless". Those people piss me off. Seriously. And they are always sitting there trying to muster up the most sad ass expressions they can while reading a crapped on copy of the bible. Yeah, you know what? You twat waffles aren't fooling me, you don't read the bible for "inspiration" in your time of need, you are just bullshitting and trying to play up the religious angle to dupe more people into handing you $5 spots.

Anyway, the point is this- Not to be a jerk, but stop writing me to ask me how to build a flamethrower. I don't know if you are just some 6th grader who is going to use it wrong and burn down the house, or go try to blow up your school and I am not taking the chances because America has become a festering hell hole of litigious asshole lawyers who will sue for any damned reason, even though you should be responsible for your own actions and not go around bitching and trying to sue other people because they 'enabled' you to do something mind blowingly retarded and you done fucked yourself up. When someone does something dumb the first thing they do nowadays is look around to see who they can blame for their own dipshit actions. You think they would have tried that with Nixon in the Whitehouse? HELL NO!

Uhm.... sort of went off there, didn't I?

I can tell you this much - if you just do the research, ie: get out of your house and go to various gas retailers, someone will help you figure it all out, but not me guys. 


Click here for more information on the Hearse...