Introduction - It is illegal to have any fireworks in Colorado that don't suck
goat balls. Pretty much to determine if you can have any specific explosive
device beyond a sparkler they hold it up to a state issued goat. If it doesn't
magnetically launch towards the goat's nutsack and start sucking it, they make
it illegal. This means we are stuck with SNAKES. Not even fucking sparklers.
As such, we make our own destructive devices, flaming swords and what have you
and throw our own party. We also have Goth girl Jello wrestling.
Alexi providing a little extra fire at the driveway entrance.
Joe
Cynthia getting ready for oil wrestling
Desiree!
Sage, posing for a Depeche Mode poster. See picture below for reference...
Did I not tell you he looked like he belongs in this picture!?
Desiree letting off some work angst
Cynthia...Teenaged Muslim ANGST time!
Mark!
Rob, getting ready to join Sage in the aforementioned Depeche Mode poster
Rapid delivery paintball gun time!
Nothing beats a high pressure stream of fire, NOTHING.
Paul, letting it all out.
Teenaged podunk town outside of Colorado Springs angst!
Inspirational posters! YAY!
We retired our old broadsword last year, nicknamed "ExClobberer"
The sword featured here is our newly created/welded "Sir Killington
McStabyourass"
Rob guiding a new user for the paintball gun
Dawn and Seigfreid
Holly and Cynthia, nicknamed "Bunny Bin Laden" by our esteemed
fight announcer, Goth Paul
The propane powered flaming swords!
This years Destructacon boasted more burns, abrasions, cuts and personal
injury than any other year!
Dawn, the girl in the red, will FUCK YOU UP.
The only thing Chuck Norris fears is Dawn.
Englewood police for the win!
When you have a party, you can gauge how good it was by how many times the cops
show up. My parties average three police visits per night, this year the cops
only came once, but in fairness, it was ALL of them that showed up. They were
cool and this car blasted "smooth criminal" over his loudspeaker as he
was pulling away.
Dawn's injury
The carnage
Aftermath, our flamethrower, at rest.
Desiree and Joe
Sage's burns, these looked a LOT worse three days later.
