Jan. 2009 - New image galleries, members pages and Hearse Girls!
Halloween was a
busy time for us this year, but we're back with tons of new photos
in the image galleries which can be found by clicking here. Also,
don't forget to check out our newest Hearse Girl gallery with Amber,
click here!
We have been getting requests for information on HearseCon 2009,
which will be June 5th, 6th, and 7th this year. We are expecting an
all time record turnout for this years event, so be sure to make
plans to be there! Click the link below for more information!
Massive
Website Update
HearseCon 08 Pics Online Too!!!
We have added a
LOT of new stuff to the website this time around, there are new
members pages, new galleries as well as the HearseCon 2008 Pictures.
Click here for the members pages, click here for the updated
galleries.
If you have not already signed up, join the National Hearse Owners
Database. What is it? Well, in short it is a big ass list of hearse
owners all over the world who want to be put in touch with other
hearse owners in their area. I constantly get asked if I know
someone in a specific region because someone is looking for other
people to cruise with, find parts from or even start their own club.
This list is your way of doing just that! Simply send an email to denverhearse@yahoo.com
and include your name, city, state, what kind of hearse you own and
an email address and you are on it! I also encourage you to include
your Myspace, LiveJournal or Facebook URLS if you please.
ALSO - My apologies to anyone who ordered a shirt and has not gotten
theirs yet, they will be shipped out this week, sorry for the
delays!
New
Hearse Club T-shirts available NOW!
We now have the
new Hearse Club t-shirts for sale RIGHT NOW! The design is the same
as the image above and is available on black t-shirts as well as
black womens tank tops. To order yours include the size and style
you want, $18.00 for the shirt and $5.00 for shipping. Send payments
via Paypal to the recipient "funkerzac@hotmail.com"
and your shirt will arrive in the mail shortly! All proceeds go to
help maintain Hearseclub.com!!!
Enjoy our
website?
Then help
us out!
We need your help!
Do you like Hearseclub.com? You're damned right you do, what the hell isn't there to like? Hearses, fire, impudence, barely clothed women writhing on vehicles, who the hell wouldn't like that?
Sadly though, as awesome as we are, we haven't yet gotten to the point where people are handing us large sums of cash to just sit around and kick ass...that being said, the website requires a fairly significant amount of time and effort and unfortunately, it does cost some money to put on. We have a great company called Wyenet that provides us with KICK ASS web hosting and great support but it does cost money to make that happen so here is the deal.
We are currently behind on our hosting fees and could use a hand. I am asking that if you do enjoy the website and are able, please feel free to make a contribution. I won't turn down any $500 contributions, but honestly $5 would help us out and be appreciated as well. I enjoy making this website happen, and I enjoy meeting the awesome ass kicking people who we meet because of it and I'd do it all for free if I could, but occasionally we do need a little help!
You can send a payment using
Paypal, just log into your Paypal account and click the link marked
"Send Money" and enter the email address funkerzac@hotmail.com
as the recipient. If you do not wish to use Paypal email us and we
will send you a link to where you can pay using a secure connection
via credit card.
Update December 2007
New Hearse Girls photos and Hearse Wrecks!
Not much else to say, check out our newest Hearse
Girls gallery by clicking here and we have also updated the
Hearse Wrecks page with some interesting new pictures. Click
here for that gallery
Update October
Hearse
Driver Music Video!
Hearseclub.com and SORP Films recently produced a full length music
video for the EJ Wells song, Hearse Driver! Check it out at the link
below, or on our Youtube page as well. You can help us out by
emailing this video to your friends or by posting it on your own
journals and Myspace pages! Be sure to check out our new Hearse
Girl, Josie as well!
EJ Wells, Hearse Driver, directed by Zachary Byron Helm
Add to My Profile | More Videos
UPDATE SEPTEMBER 2007
Hearseclub.com has been working on some new stuff lately and one of
those things is a music video for EJ Well's "Hearse
Driver" song. For now there are two new galleries and a new
Hearse Girls gallery online!
The Hearse Driver video will be online in a few weeks, so keep
checking back and spread the word!
HEARSE-CON
PICS FINALLY!
It came, it saw, it kicked ass. And it will
most certainly be back again next year! Click the image above for
the ass whomping gallery.
June 2nd- In addition to the new Hearse Con gallery, we have new
members bios up (click
here) as well as our new hearse girl, Heidi (click
here)
BUYING
OR SELLING A HEARSE???
If you have a hearse to sell, send an email to denverhearse@yahoo.com
along with your name, a contact email or phone number, the price and
at least 1 decent picture. We always know of a few people looking to
buy one, so let us know and we will pass your information along!
UPDATE FEBRUARY 2006
Check out the new Hearse
Girl Jillian and our Sledding
in the Cemetery meet in the photo galleries while you are here
as well! Keep checking back as there will be more gallery updates,
Hearse Girls and all sorts of other new items here in the near
future!
UPDATE
NOVEMBER 2006
October is by far the best and
worst month for hearse drivers. It's the month where everyone wants
you at their events and you are in a great position to demand
absolutely absurd piles of free crap to be there. It's also the
month where I tend to forget to sleep and end up spending several
days in a row working on my car, forsaking food, love life and the
internet in favor of feeding the primary beast, the hearse.
This update
brings several new photo galleries in our Image Gallery
section, a
new Hearse Girl AND the addition of a
Youtube channel devoted to the
Hearseclub.com videos! See the link at the left!
We also have been taking pictures of all the hearses around the
Denver metro area for a new section devoted to the random hearses
we've seen around town, ones like this badass ride-
This gallery can be seen by clicking
here
I also ended up
with the police coming to intercept me a record number of times this
year. We had two cop cars show up for the Hearse Girls shoot (due to
the guns on the new version of Alexi) as well as the cops showing up
TWICE on Halloween night on (once for the toxic waste van I parked
out front leaking 'waste' onto the street) as well as a fire truck
later that night when I set off the flamethrower. My neighbors
really don't catch on too quickly. They have yet to realize this
shit is normal operating procedures over at my place and not to flip
the hell out. You can see pictures of all of this on our photo
galleries.
UPDATE
SEPTEMBER 2006
An epic
milestone was reached today...hearseclub.com is officially banned
from even being MENTIONED on the Professional Car Society message
boards! That's right folks, I have been advised by the moderators of
said website that I am not to mention hearseclub.com or even post
pictures with watermarks from this website on the PCS message
boards! Apparently they feel we were stealing some of their 'professional' thunder, and a few of them don't appreciate the Hearse
Girls (I was advised that we were "reprehensible" by one
individual)
As this is just
another chapter in the endless tome that is the PCS commitment to
alienating people, I was momentarily considering the idea of writing
up something a bit acerbic and caustic, maybe outlining the years of
exclusionism and attacks on other clubs that originated from them.
After a bit of reflection though, it really sank in that even though
they tend to regard people like us as their inferiors, the truth is,
they wouldn't do things of this nature if they didn't feel we posed
some sort of threat to their hold on the hobby. So if you think
about it, it's kind of an odd, narcissistic compliment we have been paid
by their actions.
UPDATE
JULY 2006
So the
update is a few days late...sorry! At any rate, the main reason it
didn't happen was because we were busy compiling footage from
Destructacon, our yearly 4th of July party wherein we destroy a ton
of property with home made weaponry. Click
here for the complete gallery and videos! New Hearse Girl next
week by the way, still feeling a little light headed from chemical
inhalation and flash burn from this event. Also, there is
a new Hearse Girl as of August 2nd!
UPDATE
JUNE 2006
You know, Hearseclub.com gets a lot of email and most of it is the question of how to go about buying a hearse. Most of the time I just send them to our 'How to buy a hearse' page which is a great resource and the only nearly complete comprehensive guide on the internet. Sometimes though, especially if my hearse has been acting up, I am more tempted to track them down by their IP Address, show up at their house, grab them by their lapels and scream "Sweet Jesus man! Don't do it! HEARSES WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!"
Let's face it, while they CAN potentially be fun cars, there is also a large ass block of the time when they are more temperamental than an 85 year old woman's digestive system after eating a gallon of hot sauce. The mileage on them stinks, and let's not forget the scores of morons yelling out "Ghostbusters!" (God help you if your hearse is white) or "Got a dead body back there! Yuk, yuk, yuk!" These people always assume that they must be the FIRST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET, witty enough to have constructed these urban and incisive comments and just can't understand why you are looking at them as though you want to punch them in the head hard enough to make their eyeballs rocket through the back of their skull, cartoon style.
At any rate, I got to thinking about this, how the OTHER side of hearse ownership needs to be told. But how? Then I was walking downtown one day and someone handed me a religious tract (For some reason they figured I needed saving. Actually, what I need more than saving is a new carburetor. Why don't people who are supposedly so concerned about your well being ever hand you something you really DO need?) and it occurred to me... make a religious style hearse literature tract! WOOT! So that is exactly what I did, take a look by clicking here and enjoy the harsh truth!
Entry for 5/16/06, read the story of Ambulance HELL!!